EPISODE ONE
(First broadcast 4th April 1979)
The 'Q8' title draws itself in, made up of the word 'Kuwait' repeated dozens of times, accompanied by the famous Milligan-composed piano tune. This is followed by some quick jokes and news items from Spike at the desk, and he introduces the running joke for this show - heavily bandaged fingers. (If you have to ask, you'll never understand.) A limited weather report follows, before Alan Clare, the amnesic actor (dressed as Queen Victoria) manually operates a grandfather clock waiting to be mended and we find ourselves in a grotty house occupied by a tatty Spike and a balloon-breasted ratbag woman (Stella Tanner) who is scrubbing a print of the Mona Lisa. Spike demonstrates that there's no room to swing a cat in one of the rooms by doing just that. Stella bursts into song ("I was born in a trunk in the Princess theatre"...) before Spike tells her the ugly truth (she was born in a dog basket in Fishscrew Street). She complains that he's spoiled her dream, and Spike introduces her nightmare. The outside toilet explodes, the dog starts talking (sounding quite a lot like Robert Dorning) and Spike decides he's had enough - but just as he tries to leave the sketch a commentary starts, detailing his every action. A visit to the doctor's surgery cures nothing, Stella's nightmare returns and the cast exit the scene muttering "What are we going to do now?". On film, the winner of the singing and hanging competition is announced, before Spike reads the classified husband results. Public information films about the importance of clean underwear follow, and police officer Milligan makes a couple of house calls. Spike and Ed Welch sing 'That Photograph of You' before the scene shifts to a bank. Keith Smith as the clerk tells us about his miserable home life before the arabs from Q7 (John Bluthal and John D.Collins) burst in demanding their daily million pounds. The sight of Julia Breck inspires Spike to attempt a robbery, but as he came armed with a motor horn rather than a gun, he only gets fifty pence. Bob Todd pulls a more effective robbery thanks to his burglar's access card. A potential public toilet user gets poor service before the attendant plugs American Express. In the studio, Spike and John Bluthal, wearing sousaphones, sit before back-projected crashing waves and trade non-sequiturs, which leads into a short item about tuba-mania sweeping the Royal family. Spike realises the sketch is going nowhere and asks an audience member for guidance, before PC Bob Todd asks to be accompanied to the station because he's frightened to go on his own. The entire cast march off the set to a brass band accompaniment (Julia Breck shakes a mean tambourine!) and the end credits roll.
NOTES AND TRIVIA
The phrase "there's a cheque in the post" pops up several times. As Nigel Rees pointed out in his book of Catchphrases and Quotations, the entire Q series was rich in potential catchphrases, none of which really caught on. The sports commentator's voice was provided by Tony Gubba, a genuine BBC sportscaster. The weather sketch at the beginning bears some similarites to a sketch from Spike's one-off 1961 BBC show, A Series of Unrelated Incidents at Current Market Value. But why let a good joke go bad? During the bank sketch, Spike makes a reference to Joyce McKinney, a former cheerleader and beauty queen who scandalized British society in the 1970s by kidnapping a Mormon missionary at gunpoint and manacling him to a bed for sex. She went on to be the owner of the world's first commercially cloned dogs. In short, she could easily have been a character straight out of a Milligan sketch. Jeanette Charles (the actress who made a long career out of vaguely resembling the Queen) is listed in the credits, but she doesn't appear in the show. Edited versions of the "no room to swing a cat", doctor's surgery, singing and hanging and clean underwear sketches turned up in BBC2's 1993 compilation series Q Milligan.
The phrase "there's a cheque in the post" pops up several times. As Nigel Rees pointed out in his book of Catchphrases and Quotations, the entire Q series was rich in potential catchphrases, none of which really caught on. The sports commentator's voice was provided by Tony Gubba, a genuine BBC sportscaster. The weather sketch at the beginning bears some similarites to a sketch from Spike's one-off 1961 BBC show, A Series of Unrelated Incidents at Current Market Value. But why let a good joke go bad? During the bank sketch, Spike makes a reference to Joyce McKinney, a former cheerleader and beauty queen who scandalized British society in the 1970s by kidnapping a Mormon missionary at gunpoint and manacling him to a bed for sex. She went on to be the owner of the world's first commercially cloned dogs. In short, she could easily have been a character straight out of a Milligan sketch. Jeanette Charles (the actress who made a long career out of vaguely resembling the Queen) is listed in the credits, but she doesn't appear in the show. Edited versions of the "no room to swing a cat", doctor's surgery, singing and hanging and clean underwear sketches turned up in BBC2's 1993 compilation series Q Milligan.
Spike and Ed Welch recorded an album of the songs heard in this series! Spike Milligan and Ed Welch Sing Songs From Q8 was released in 1979 on the United Artists label. Sadly, it wasn't commercially successful, but copies do turn up on Ebay from time to time, and it's worth having just for its curiosity value. The track listing is as follows -
1) Q8 Theme
2) Woe Is Me
3) Love To Make Music By
4) Silly Old Babboon
5) I Don't Have A Song About Jesus
6) Living Again
7) Taking You For Granted
8) One Sunny Day
9) Lady
10) I Couldn't Wait To Tell You
11) The Carpet's Always Greener (Under Someone Else's Bed)
12) I've Got That Photograph Of You
13) Q8 Theme (Reprise)
CRITICAL SYNOPSIS
A good, solid episode, brimming with invention, but the sousaphones and tubas sketch is a serious let-down. Even Spike seems to acknowledge this, and it does pave the way for a gloriously awkward exchange with an audience member, so it's not all bad news.
LINKS
Watch (most of) the bank robbery sketch...
EPISODE TWO
First broadcast 11th April 1979
A thief attempts to steal the Mona Lisa, but only gets the frame. The Q8 titles are followed by Adolf Hitler's abortive comeback costume, Spike falls through the air and Keith Smith impersonates a pendulum. There are some desk quickies before Bob Todd visits Dr Spike, who realises that nurse Breck has been over-enthusiastic with his blood sample and diagnoses Red Indians / Scottish football supporters. A grotty mealtime turns into an advert for 'supercover', an invention that hides "crappy British cooking", with Spike as Batman (Batspike?) as the pitchman. A duck call bought from Harrod's turns out to be a gorilla call, and big game hunter Bob Todd complains of elephants in the skirting board, which turn out to be mice - strictly speaking, Spike as a bionic mouse, who climbs into bed with Julia Breck, boasting "I didn't take this part for nothing". The Q7 Arabs visit the English channel sales department, as Spike and his department of energy (Julia) try to sell them seawater, but the sketch is called in because its time is up and the cast exit muttering "What are we going to do now?". Back in the studio, Ed Welch sings 'Love to Make Music By'. Batspike turns up again, advertising supercover for cars, before Raymond Baxter (presenter of Tomorrow's World, the BBC's flagship technology and science magazine programme for years) introduces Britain's part in the space race, specifically Mr and Mrs Jim Maggots becoming the first plumbers in space. After a few news quickies and a weightless cat, Spike is whisked into space by a tango-dancing Julia Breck - "they do have some strange endings", notes Stella Tanner, and she's not wrong. A grotty couple (whose house looks uncannily similar to the Maggots residence) who haven't paid their licence fee - as a flashing message on their television reminds them - discuss foot-painting before fireman Keith Smith bursts in on a false alarm, followed by horse-headed orgy attendant John D.Collins and John Bluthal as a Sun journalist in search of a scandal. He finds one, photographs it, and the cast pursue him out of shot as a dragged-up Bob Todd calmly continues his knitting. Spike announces a dramatic silent ending, and the credits roll in silence, along with poisonous newspaper reviews, before Spike admits it was "rotten".
NOTES AND TRIVIA
The name 'Pogue Mahone' pops up during the news items - for the uninitiated, pogue mahone is an Anglicized version of "pog mo thoin", Gaelic for "kiss my arse". The phrase was later cleaned up (slightly) to become the name of the dentally challenged punk-folk band the Pogues. Hitler's comeback, swinging Keith Smith, supercover and elephants in the skirting board turned up (again, in edited form) in Q Milligan, whilst Spike in his Batman garb appeared on the cover of the 1986 VHS Spike Milligan in the Best of Q (BBC Video). Jeanette Charles is listed in the credits, and she does actually appear this time, in the supercover sketches. There's a noticeable edit in the "no fire here" sketch (a reworking of the Photo Shop sketch from Q6, and Terence Mazweke gets a writing credit) shortly after Keith Smith's entrance, possibly to give him time to get the fire extinguisher working. Spike briefly sings 'Don't Cry For Me Argentina' again, providing a handy link back to Q7.
The name 'Pogue Mahone' pops up during the news items - for the uninitiated, pogue mahone is an Anglicized version of "pog mo thoin", Gaelic for "kiss my arse". The phrase was later cleaned up (slightly) to become the name of the dentally challenged punk-folk band the Pogues. Hitler's comeback, swinging Keith Smith, supercover and elephants in the skirting board turned up (again, in edited form) in Q Milligan, whilst Spike in his Batman garb appeared on the cover of the 1986 VHS Spike Milligan in the Best of Q (BBC Video). Jeanette Charles is listed in the credits, and she does actually appear this time, in the supercover sketches. There's a noticeable edit in the "no fire here" sketch (a reworking of the Photo Shop sketch from Q6, and Terence Mazweke gets a writing credit) shortly after Keith Smith's entrance, possibly to give him time to get the fire extinguisher working. Spike briefly sings 'Don't Cry For Me Argentina' again, providing a handy link back to Q7.
CRITICAL SYNOPSIS
A lot of good stuff here, especially supercover, the Britain in space sequence and the truly bizarre final sketch, but the misfires are big - the 'English channel' sketch feels too forced and surreal-by-numbers to be convincing, the Harrod's sketch is slightly embarrassing and some of the performances are slightly lacking in places. But that's Spike all over - you either took the full package, or you went without.
EPISODE THREE
First broadcast 18th April, 1979
A traffic warden is seen with a portable parking meter before the titles roll, and Big Ben is revealed to be an elaborate cuckoo clock. After some news quickies, John Bluthal as Eamonn Andrews (who, Spike tells us, "auditioned to play himself and failed") introduces This is Your Life, with a poor subject in Dick Scratcher (ho, ho), the founder of Amnesics Anonymous. Spike introduces an update from puzzle corner, and there's a surprising (to say nothing of eye-watering) revelation of what Scotsmen keep beneath their kilts. A meeting of Nazi traffic wardens uncovers some unusual coercion techniques and some novel methods of extracting fines from motorists, and the Ministry of Transport stage an invasion of Normandy. Spike and Ed Welch sing 'Woe Is Me' before we're taken to Lady Chatterley's potting shed for a handy lesson on how to make money grow on trees. Spike conducts a crappy orchestra playing 'Also Spake Zarathrustra' (the 2001 theme) which has the unfortunate side-effect of making his legs levitate.
There are a few desk quickies with John Bluthal in a Tarzan loincloth, before an item about a Sexual Hindrance boutique sees Alan Clare flattened by a nun-driven steamroller. Some artwork inspired by Winston Churchill is discussed, before the Mastermind of Ireland (Bob Todd as the unfortunately named Pogue Mahone) is chosen with some ridiculously simple questions. Spike has some surprising news about Nelson's column (it's actually Florence Nightingale's column, just a poor likeness) before a garden hose orchestra performs a tribute to Sir Edward Elgar, during which Spike collapses with helpless laughter. Then it's over to a pyjama-clad Spike for some late news, and the end credits roll. The portable parking meter-toting warden makes a final appearance to close the show.
NOTES AND TRIVIA
During the Dick Scratcher sketch, Spike sings 'Don't Cry For Me, Joyce McKinney'! There's another noticeable edit during this sketch, shortly after Stella Tanner's exit. The 'Kilt Chimes' turned up on the 1996 VHS Spike Milligan - One Man and his Ideas (later reissued on DVD as the Best of Spike Milligan - it isn't). The Nazi traffic wardens, Also Spake Zarathrustra, Sexual Hindrance and Winston Churchill art turned up in Q Milligan. During the Churchill sketch, Alan Clare plays Graham Sutherland, the real-life artist whose portrait of Winston Churchill was given to its subject - then destroyed by Lady Churchill. This is also referred to in the sketch. Reliable 'ratbag' actress Rita Webb also appears, as does the diminutive Australian actor Johnny Vyvyan, as Lord Chatterley and the smallest member of the 'Kilt Chimes' line-up.
During the Dick Scratcher sketch, Spike sings 'Don't Cry For Me, Joyce McKinney'! There's another noticeable edit during this sketch, shortly after Stella Tanner's exit. The 'Kilt Chimes' turned up on the 1996 VHS Spike Milligan - One Man and his Ideas (later reissued on DVD as the Best of Spike Milligan - it isn't). The Nazi traffic wardens, Also Spake Zarathrustra, Sexual Hindrance and Winston Churchill art turned up in Q Milligan. During the Churchill sketch, Alan Clare plays Graham Sutherland, the real-life artist whose portrait of Winston Churchill was given to its subject - then destroyed by Lady Churchill. This is also referred to in the sketch. Reliable 'ratbag' actress Rita Webb also appears, as does the diminutive Australian actor Johnny Vyvyan, as Lord Chatterley and the smallest member of the 'Kilt Chimes' line-up.
CRITICAL SYNOPSIS
Despite an unpromising start (the Dick Scratcher sketch is downright awful), this episode turns into a late bloomer - 'kilt chimes' (as it has become known) is short, sweet and absolutely hilarious, the Nazi traffic wardens are good value for money (though some judicious editing could have improved it), the Irish mastermind is corny fun and Spike's on-set hysterics are always a joy to behold.
LINKS
LINKS
Watch the 'Kilt Chimes' (well worth it!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VskVFchQp-4
Watch 'Underneath the Armpits' (Spike really loses it!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-qELF8cPqY
REMAINDER COMING SOON!
REMAINDER COMING SOON!
